Tuesday, 23 June 2015

How to start a van

Today, I had to hire a van locally. I picked it up from a company called Brisco WIlliams, no problems at all with the vehicle and it behaved impeccably. The only issue I had was the instructions I was given. Basically, to start the van I had to depress the clutch, so I got in the van, put the keys in the ignition and made a start. I told the clutch that although it was a nice day, it had forecast rain for the weekend. I turned the key and nothing happened. I then told the clutch that on this gorgeous hot sunny day I was going to make it work hard going up and down the hills in mid Wales, still nothing. Then I I decided to get personal, I told the clutch that it was only there because the makers couldn't be bothered fitting an automatic gearbox, nothing, I told it that it was a waste of floor space as the other pedals either made the van go faster or slower, nothing happened.

This was it, I had reached a breaking point and decided that I was going to get physical, I warned the clutch that I would stamp on it as if it were an insignificant insect on the floor, turned the key and sod all happened. That's when I lost it and stamped on it with all my night shouting out that it's mother was a hamster and it's father smelled of elderberries, I turned the key and it started.

That was when  realised that I may have got the wrong end of the stick when the gentleman at the van hire place said I had to depress the clutch to start it.