Monday, 15 May 2017

Superheroes and Supermarkets

It's time to have a rant, here we go................

I've been watching some of the DC TV series, started with The Arrow, then Flash, then Legends of Tomorrow and Supergirl. Apart from the costumes it's hard to distinguish any of them from the other, the Arrow has an ex office IT person who can do anything with any computer, Supergirl has one of these too and he can make superhero suits, scanners to detect temporal particles and all sorts. And we have one in Flash too that can do similar things. But they are all very two dimensional and that's being kind, the reject characters ended up in Legends of Tomorrow and we all know what's at the top end of a leg. The quality of acting here goes from bad to utter crap and then there's the Time Master Rip Hunter, who has come from playing a time traveller accompanying a Time Lord in Doctor Who. Doctor Who is about a Time Lord that stole a time machine, guess what the Time Master stole in Legends of Tomorrow.

I've kind of given up on Arrow, people die, then they get brought back to life by mysterious pools, people find their parents are really the bad guy, John Barrowman makes it bearable.

Flash has alternate realities coming up where good guys are bad guys and vice versa and in Supergirl, everyone is either rich, an alien, a superhero, gay or evil. Even Jimmy Olsen the spotty youth from Superman is a tall well built bloke that is now called the Guardian and fights bad guys with a shield wearing a lead outfit, made by the guy that looked after the firewalls for a gossip magazine. I'm sure there's a similar Marvel character.

And there's Martians in it too, the longest standing one is called John Jones and the newest one is called Megan Morse, these are not Martians, they are obviously Welsh, there's a new one coming up next week call Dai 3 Eyes.

I going to finish watching the 4 episodes of the crossover and then probably give up, which moves us onto Supermarkets.

The idea with a supermarket, is you put up aisles with shelves, as a customer, you walk up and down these aisles, put stuff into your trolley, pay and leave. The new Llansamlet Tesco store was obviously designed by the bastard son of an Ikea store planner on a bad day when he was suffering from inflamed piles. You go in, there are sideways aisles at the start, then front to back aisles at the back and then they put counters randomly in the middle of these aisles selling random things to block off the middle aisles that are at 90 degrees to the ones you are trying to find. 

I went round one of these counters about 14 times and went past the fresh bread so many times that it was out of date by the time I'd finished. I could see one product I wanted to buy, but no matter which direction I went in it always moved further away.

Once you've managed to navigate the first section after about a week, the rest seems normal-ish. Then you get to the end, there's a big huge sign on the wall in twelvty foot high letters that says Quench Your Thirst, under it they have crisps.

One part of the store appears to have created a Mobius band, I swear I saw people walking on the floor under me and then went round a corner and found the same people coming towards me.

Shopping is not the best experience in the world, come on Tesco, have a think about store layouts and make it easier, every little helps.