Ground Control

Greetings once more to you from the Night Watch, care takers of the multiverse, guider of the great turtle, lighters of the lamps of eternity

It came to pass that a client called in and said "watcha mate, how do I make my Sony Xperia ring more times before it goes to voicemail?"

After some research I initially suggested that a transmorphic reasonator aimed at the outer edge of the rings of Saturn would introduce a sufficient delay. Unfortunately the local hardware store was out of these and so some more research was needed.

I thought that If we made a delay line using some piezo electric crystal and fed the signal back in on itself with a phaseshift of 90 degrees then took the resultant signal and fed it through a demodulator onto a tape loop then using a single sidband supressed carrier signal we could bounce it off the e-layer recover the signal and then digitise it once more before sending it back out through the network this might do the trick, I set about creating that apparatus but to be honest I couldn't be bothered.

Then a sudden burst of inspiration came up on me, it was either that or heartburn.

Why not enter the following code onto the handset

**61*901*11*NN# SEND

Where NN is the number of seconds before the call goes to the voice mail thingy.

Apparenly this will work on any 02 device, please do not use it on any other network as this could cause a huge positive feedback loop and create a wormhole into the dungeon dimension.

Next time we will show you how to make a half wave dipole using some scaffolding poles, some self tapping screws a length of wood and some sticky back plastic and we will be asking the question :-

If it says on a box of eggs, "Warning, this product may contain eggs", does this mean that occasionally it may contain something else and if so what?

Have fun and due to a temporal anomaly I'll see you again previously

Agent Holt,

The Night Watch