Ground Control

Greetings from the Night Watch, keepers of the Eternal Flame, guardians of the Green Lantern, watchers over the twilight hours.

Over the last week or so it has come to my attention that several people I know who use a Three mobile broadband connection have been unable to send emails using their own domains. There has been no problem in the past and these people have managed to send emails for quite some time.

Having examined the situation I initially suspected that increased sunspot activity had created an inversion layer in the ionosphere creating a tropospheric duct and the packets were arriving out of phase at the recipients end, I broadcast a sinewave and on my oscilloscope  had no problem displaying a perfect lissajous figure so this was not the issue.

I then suspected some possible sporadic E reception with some of the data arriving twice but this was not the case.

My tachyon detector was showing a blank so there were no trans dimensional warp conduits active and as a further check I connected some new flux capacitors to my orgone accumulator, powered up my anomalous chronographic particle detector, this failed to show any rifts or tears in the space time continuum.

It looked like the problem was going to be even more sinister than that.

A quick telnet check revealed that Three appear to be starting to block access to smtp servers on port 25 and 587, I attempted to reroute the data through a wormhole in Spiral Galaxy 28958, invert it's phase and then reapply it via the reflective surface of Phobos with no success.

There was only one course of action left, I opened up Outlook and used Three's SMTP server as the outgoing mail server.

The address of this server is:

smtp-mbb.three.co.uk

You do not need to use the ninth chevron and no authentication is required.

I hope you find this if use.

Next week we will show you how to make an Ion Propulsion system using an old cigarette lighter, a 6v battery and a Champion N7Y spark plug.